Russian milirary humor

A soldier is being led to the place of his execution.
-Some bad weather we`re having,-he says to his convoy.
-Look who`s complaining, they say, we have to go back.

Russian and American submarines

German fisherman was at the sea with a small boat. After some time American submarine surfaced near him. The captain asked the fisherman: "Have You seen any Russian submarines lately?" "Yes, I have, they went to north-east", the fisherman replied.
"Thanks very much", and off they went, to north-east... After some time, Russian submarine surfaced, and their commander asked the same fisherman, "Have You seen any American submarines lately?"
Fishermans answer was the same: "Yes, and they went to north-east."
"What?", asked russian submarines commander.
"I said, they went to north-east!"
"What a hell means north-east, You'd better show us the direction with your hand, if You don't want us to sink you!"